In this little drinking village with a fishing problem I call home, we don't have street mail delivery. Everybody, all of somewhere around 200+/- of us, has to have P.O. Boxes.
No biggee. The post mistress knows everybody by name and it is conveniently located across the street from the "City Hall." Which is nice because there are times I like to mail them (the denizens of the city hall) something and get a kick out of watching them cross the street to get their mail.
But lo and behold, today in our "boxes" we get a little notice that says we got to identify ourselves within 10 days. Which I thought meant running into the bathroom looking at the mirror and hollerin, "yepper thats me, thats me", would suffice.
Oh no, no, no, no. See now, the little town of St. Marks Post Office has to cooperate with the department of "Homeland Security". I'm guessing it is to insure that there ain't no terrorist cells lurking amongst the fishermen, bikers, drunks, older folk and a few rich folk (who occupy their time trying to pretend that St. Marks is going to be the next Palm Beach or something). I'm guessing "Bushland Security" don't know there ain't but one road in or out of this little village and it can't be done without passing the Corner Bar and strangers get noticed (sometimes shot, sometimes not. All depends).
But then it might be that the "HS" boys are afraid some terrorists are gonna paddle their butts up the St. Marks River from the Gulf of Mexico, in the middle of the dark, sneak in and rent themselves a P.O. Box. Which would be a right crafty idea were it not for the gator poachers and, ummm, whatever else type folk they be liable to run into on that river after dark. Theres worse stuff than terrorists on that there river. But hey, anything for a St. Marks P.O. Box right?
Apparently. Cause now each box owner must personally provide 2 forms of ID and a list of everyone that receives mail in that box with 2 copies of their i.d. O.K. well now I'm in big trouble. Cause I can't find no I.D. for "occupant" and that sucker gets more mail than any of the two of us that get mail. Recipient gets some too. But I already suspected them so they may not get any more.
BUT GET THIS????? Social Security cards and Birth certificates are not "acceptable" I.D. Ya know what is???? A certificate of naturalization (is that like "generic" people)? Or, vehicle registration, or a "Deed of Trust?" What the hell does that mean??? Before they can give me my mail I got to prove that I trust them?????
Are these people nutsssss????? These are the same folk that thought they were doing a fine job after Hurricane Katrina! How secure were they keeping the homeland when they allowed CIA agent Valerie Plane Wilson to get outed?
Have you seen the head of Homeland Security?
Well, there. Now ya have. Now I ask you a question? Hell never mind your home security or your rights or your liberties or your freedom or "YOUR" U.S. Constitution. Look at that face. I wouldn't trust this dude with YOUR mail, much less mine.
Well I'm afraid me and the PO may have to chat about alternatives, because you know what I'm afraid of??? I mean really afraid of??? The next time the UPS man drops off a years supply of pantyhose for my ol lady he is gonna have to frisk me while I sign. Nope, ain't happening. Ya gots to draw a line sometime, somewhere before they take your chalk away.
Do not bend, spindle, or mutilate (hmmmm, wait a second, just what does "spindle" mean anyway?) while ridin free.Add to Technorati Favorites