What happened next of course would be beyond belief were it not for the fact that it happened in Florida. After all we are the land of the hanging chads where a prerequisite for running for Governor is investigation for criminal wrong doing, during which one must claim the 5th amendment 15 times.
Ms. Tarentino has filed a lawsuit claiming Citrus County LEO strip searched her on the side of the road in front of her children. Apparently not finding what they were looking for, by the side of the road, in front of her kids, they forcibly removed her "tampon". Tarantino Tampon Lawsuit
Now we have been giving this a great deal of thought. Because after all in these days of threats to National Security and terrorists hiding behind every bush, and yes we mean every bush, one can not be to careful. As ABC Action News reports, "Tarantino has been arrested multiple times in the past for drug possession, driving under the influence and domestic battery. " Crimes in Florida which are severe enough to get you strip searched, but not severe enough to get you a job in the Florida legislature.
Which brought us to another question? When they say "forcibly removed" what do they mean? Are they referring to against her will, or the damn thing just wouldn't come out? We thought you just pulled the little hangy thing and "plop" it was out. But then we figured maybe the lady, with the sole intention of frustrating Tampon hunting cops, had engaged in many hours of Kegel exercises then put the, as the more mainstream media put it, "Feminine Hygiene Product" (so as not to offend the viewing public that spends countless hours in front of the TV watching Criminal Minds and clips of Buddhist monks setting themselves on fire.), in upside down to engage the cops in a good old fashioned game of tug-o-war.
Of course a lady friend advised us it doesn't quite work that way. We asked for a demonstration of just how it does work. But apparently none of our lady experts had a "Feminine Hygiene Product" on them at the moment. This writer however is rarely without febreeze or a nine volt battery and is willing to go to any depths for a story. However we were unable to find a lady drunk enough to engage in a little experiment.
So then we wondered, well why didn't they bring out drug or bomb sniffing dogs. To which a couple of lady experts opined, "why? they had cops", "eeeeew" and "it just doesn't quite work that way". Thats when one of our male friends opined that a cadaver dog wouldn't work either. OMG, the look his lady gave him led some of us to think we might get to see a cadaver dog in action right there.
Now you would think that at some point in our reporting on this story we might of mentioned something like, "constitutional rights", "police brutality", degrading women" and/or just good ol plain everyday American Oppression. But see, as reported by ABC Action News,
"The Citrus County Sheriff's Office wants to go on record as saying the allegations made in this lawsuit are not only ludicrous, but completely untrue. Yes, a traffic stop was conducted on July 17, 2011. The plaintiff was issued a criminal citation for violation of restrictions on her driver's license. She also was issued a written warning for rolling through a stop sign.The po po are here to serve and protect and they never, ever, lie. Which means of course Chavis Carter, the only black of three people pulled over, really did shoot himself in the head while in handcuffs in the back seat of a police car having been patted down twice after the two white kids were let go.
No strip search was conducted, and the plaintiff's tampon was never forcibly removed by any deputy. It is the Sheriff's Office intent to aggressively defend itself against these malicious allegations."
And of course we can all understand why police felt the need to shoot Mr. Hall 40 times.
But for us the really sad thing is, there are Americans that actually think this shit is o.k.???